Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I know it has been forever since I posted, not really sure why, guess didn't know what to say since this blog is supposed to be about Elli, not necessarily us. It seems as if though people tend to still care about the boringness of the Reed life. Not up to much, still finishing up on the house, which I am thinking might be a never ending project. We did get a new dining room table this weekend, quite the project getting it all put together, not to mention the 10 chairs that we got. We are hosting Brian's family Christmas at our house this year. It just seems so hard to get into the Christmas spirit for some reason. As for decorating, I have done minimal. The tree is semi up, Brian put it together last night while I was at work, but the branches are not fluffed, no lights, or ornaments. I was hoping that we could just for-go it this year, but Brian insisted since our nephews will be here for Christmas this weekend. I thought it would be okay to just have a present "corner" instead of having them under the tree. Speaking of presents, I am pretty much done shopping, which I am so glad about. Our Christmas's are this weekend for the most part, so I did my shopping last weekend. All presents are wrapped and ready to go, now if I was just that ready.
I had a little bit of a melt down today, poor lady didn't even see it coming. I have been going rounds with St. Luke's billing department. My portion of my labor and delivery bill is 500 dollars, which I paid the day after I got the bill. I didn't want to drag all this drama out over the holiday season. Needless to say, 6 phone calls later, and 4 late payment notices, I finally snapped. I was bawling and yelling at this billing lady on the phone. The deal is that I payed it a month and a half ago, and the check cleared nearly 3 weeks ago, yet they say they still haven't received payment. If one more call about it i will literally freak out. This is ridiculous, that was the reason that I paid it so quickly, which evidently means nothing.
I am becoming quite the night owl. I started working nights a few weeks ago. Man that first night really kills me because I wake up normal time and am up all day and then go to work all night. It was what I did when i worked in Maryville too, but it seems to be getting to me more up here. Really I do fine until I am on my way home, I start fading fast when I hit Treynor (about my half way point). I really like the ICU, and the responsibility that goes with it. I feel like I learn so much everyday. The doctors respect you so much and ask you what they need to do. Basically I called the doctor last night with this woman's issues and he asked me what I thought we needed to do...um start Dopamine and get a CT of the chest (I am thinking the lady threw a pulmonary embolism) and he said that sounded about right and that I could titrate the Dopamine to what I thought was appropriate. How different nights are, the docs really rely on the nurses to take the initiative to do what the patient needs. Either way it is going well.
Brian is still enjoying "farming" which entails a lot. This week he started hauling grain to the elevator. Our weeks seem to flay by, especially with me working nights, I am leaving when he is coming home and he is gone before I get home in the morning. He hasn't done much hunting, but his deer season is coming up. Supposedly there is a 200+ inch deer running around on our property. We get so many calls from people asking if they can hunt. On that note, no one will be hunting around our house considering we have a ton of baby calves running around. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, we live in a gated community of 1. My dad put gates up at the end of my driveway so he wouldn't have to fence both sides of the driveway considering that would be an extra mile of fence. In my opinion, it would have been worth it, I have to open and shut the gates every time I go anywhere. Oh and there is a gate up by the house too, so that is 2 gates that have to be opened and closed. He said that he is going to get me an automatic gate that is basically like a garage door opener, but that is yet to happen. As if you couldn't guess, I hate opening gates, and the calves are supposed to be here all winter.
My camera is officially out of commission. For some reason it just stopped working after Elli passed away, I can no longer get it to charge, so I am afraid after 5 years I am going to have to get a new camera. I really need to get a new one, so I can upload pictures of our house. It is so great, very grown up, no beer cans or booze bottles for decorations like in college. I have been experimenting with vinyl wall lettering. Brian got me a Cricut Expression, which if you don't know what it is, here is a link. It is pretty much the most amazing die cut machine for scrap booking ever made. Well I can also make vinyl wall art, even better then UpperCase Living if I do say so myself. I have been making a lot of stuff, not just for me, but friends and family too. Yesterday I made a sign for my friend Darci that would have cost over $50 from UL, and it basically cost me $.75 in materials, and it is so much more custom. I am a little bit obsessed with it right now. Hopefully my walls will not be covered with it, I need to remember moderation. Right now I have all Christmas and seasonal things on the wall. I am trying to think about a good saying for my Dining room wall. I am thinking of this one....
Our family is a Circle of Strength and Love,
with every birth and Union the circle grows,
with every death and crisis faced the circle grows stronger.
Or this one....
Home is where you can be silent and still be heard
Where you can ask and find out who you are
Where people laugh with you, about yourself.
Where sorrow is divided, and joys multiplied
Where we share in love and grow.
I just don't know yet, either one will be quite an undertaking for me. Hopefully when I get a camera I can show everyone my handy work, I am so excited. I have decided I must be bored, because I am thinking about painting one of my walls in the living room. I want to paint the wall with the huge window Red. I think I am going to have a super hard time finding the red I want for the curtains, so if I paint the wall red, I can get khaki curtains to hang up. We'll see with the boy says, he is not a huge fan of bold colors, but he seems to like his "hunting room" which I painted a barn red. It is so cute, and once again as soon as I get a camera I will post pics. Come to think of it, maybe I should have asked for one for Christmas, oh well, my birthday is in January, it has always been nice anything I didn't get that I wanted for Christmas, I would just ask for it for my birthday.
Sorry this post is so long, I guess I had a lot more to say than I thought. I almost forgot, we got Elli's headstone put in the other day. It is beautiful, but pretty annoying. I mean it seem so dumb for the lack of a better word to be visiting our precious Elli at a grave instead of cuddling up with her on a cold winter morning. The headstone turned out beautifully. Since the cemetery does not allow any headstones to stick above ground (I guess for mowing issues) we had to get a flat one. It is a custom size, bigger than the normal "grasser" as the monument company calls it. We didn't know if they were going to be able to get it in before the ground froze or not, but I guess they did. Brian went last night and cleaned the snow off it, he said that it looked really nice in the moonlight, the black granite against the fresh snow. I didn't stop since i was on my way to work, but I am sure it was a tear jerker. Well I see it is getting to be that time...work time. I worked last night and work tonite and tomorrow.
Brian and I hope that everyone has a safe and happy holiday season, give all your children an extra hug on Christmas morning, take too many pictures, buy too many presents, and take time to really enjoy this time of year spending it with friends and family.
I just remember this: When someone you love is in heaven, a little piece of heaven is with you every day. I miss Elli so much, and never imagined my life without her. These times faced can only make Brian and I stronger. I think I finally have a comeback for the old saying "God does not give you more than you can handle"nope he doesn't "give"you anything. Stuff happens and he helps you handle what you are given.
Thank you to everyone who continues to think of us and posts even though we don't. It is so awesome to think there are that many people who still care so much. We are so grateful to have this amazing support system. We would no doubt crumble to pieces without each other and all of you, Thank You again and have a blessed holiday season.
Love Brian, Cassi and Angel Elli