Elliott Arcile Reed

Elliott Arcile Reed
6 lbs 8 oz 19 3/4 inches

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Long Overdue

Hello Everyone!
I know it has been forever since I posted, not really sure why, guess didn't know what to say since this blog is supposed to be about Elli, not necessarily us. It seems as if though people tend to still care about the boringness of the Reed life. Not up to much, still finishing up on the house, which I am thinking might be a never ending project. We did get a new dining room table this weekend, quite the project getting it all put together, not to mention the 10 chairs that we got. We are hosting Brian's family Christmas at our house this year. It just seems so hard to get into the Christmas spirit for some reason. As for decorating, I have done minimal. The tree is semi up, Brian put it together last night while I was at work, but the branches are not fluffed, no lights, or ornaments. I was hoping that we could just for-go it this year, but Brian insisted since our nephews will be here for Christmas this weekend. I thought it would be okay to just have a present "corner" instead of having them under the tree. Speaking of presents, I am pretty much done shopping, which I am so glad about. Our Christmas's are this weekend for the most part, so I did my shopping last weekend. All presents are wrapped and ready to go, now if I was just that ready.
I had a little bit of a melt down today, poor lady didn't even see it coming. I have been going rounds with St. Luke's billing department. My portion of my labor and delivery bill is 500 dollars, which I paid the day after I got the bill. I didn't want to drag all this drama out over the holiday season. Needless to say, 6 phone calls later, and 4 late payment notices, I finally snapped. I was bawling and yelling at this billing lady on the phone. The deal is that I payed it a month and a half ago, and the check cleared nearly 3 weeks ago, yet they say they still haven't received payment. If one more call about it i will literally freak out. This is ridiculous, that was the reason that I paid it so quickly, which evidently means nothing.
I am becoming quite the night owl. I started working nights a few weeks ago. Man that first night really kills me because I wake up normal time and am up all day and then go to work all night. It was what I did when i worked in Maryville too, but it seems to be getting to me more up here. Really I do fine until I am on my way home, I start fading fast when I hit Treynor (about my half way point). I really like the ICU, and the responsibility that goes with it. I feel like I learn so much everyday. The doctors respect you so much and ask you what they need to do. Basically I called the doctor last night with this woman's issues and he asked me what I thought we needed to do...um start Dopamine and get a CT of the chest (I am thinking the lady threw a pulmonary embolism) and he said that sounded about right and that I could titrate the Dopamine to what I thought was appropriate. How different nights are, the docs really rely on the nurses to take the initiative to do what the patient needs. Either way it is going well.
Brian is still enjoying "farming" which entails a lot. This week he started hauling grain to the elevator. Our weeks seem to flay by, especially with me working nights, I am leaving when he is coming home and he is gone before I get home in the morning. He hasn't done much hunting, but his deer season is coming up. Supposedly there is a 200+ inch deer running around on our property. We get so many calls from people asking if they can hunt. On that note, no one will be hunting around our house considering we have a ton of baby calves running around. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, we live in a gated community of 1. My dad put gates up at the end of my driveway so he wouldn't have to fence both sides of the driveway considering that would be an extra mile of fence. In my opinion, it would have been worth it, I have to open and shut the gates every time I go anywhere. Oh and there is a gate up by the house too, so that is 2 gates that have to be opened and closed. He said that he is going to get me an automatic gate that is basically like a garage door opener, but that is yet to happen. As if you couldn't guess, I hate opening gates, and the calves are supposed to be here all winter.
My camera is officially out of commission. For some reason it just stopped working after Elli passed away, I can no longer get it to charge, so I am afraid after 5 years I am going to have to get a new camera. I really need to get a new one, so I can upload pictures of our house. It is so great, very grown up, no beer cans or booze bottles for decorations like in college. I have been experimenting with vinyl wall lettering. Brian got me a Cricut Expression, which if you don't know what it is, here is a link. It is pretty much the most amazing die cut machine for scrap booking ever made. Well I can also make vinyl wall art, even better then UpperCase Living if I do say so myself. I have been making a lot of stuff, not just for me, but friends and family too. Yesterday I made a sign for my friend Darci that would have cost over $50 from UL, and it basically cost me $.75 in materials, and it is so much more custom. I am a little bit obsessed with it right now. Hopefully my walls will not be covered with it, I need to remember moderation. Right now I have all Christmas and seasonal things on the wall. I am trying to think about a good saying for my Dining room wall. I am thinking of this one....
Our family is a Circle of Strength and Love,
with every birth and Union the circle grows,
with every death and crisis faced the circle grows stronger.
Or this one....
Home is where you can be silent and still be heard
Where you can ask and find out who you are
Where people laugh with you, about yourself.
Where sorrow is divided, and joys multiplied
Where we share in love and grow.
I just don't know yet, either one will be quite an undertaking for me. Hopefully when I get a camera I can show everyone my handy work, I am so excited. I have decided I must be bored, because I am thinking about painting one of my walls in the living room. I want to paint the wall with the huge window Red. I think I am going to have a super hard time finding the red I want for the curtains, so if I paint the wall red, I can get khaki curtains to hang up. We'll see with the boy says, he is not a huge fan of bold colors, but he seems to like his "hunting room" which I painted a barn red. It is so cute, and once again as soon as I get a camera I will post pics. Come to think of it, maybe I should have asked for one for Christmas, oh well, my birthday is in January, it has always been nice anything I didn't get that I wanted for Christmas, I would just ask for it for my birthday.
Sorry this post is so long, I guess I had a lot more to say than I thought. I almost forgot, we got Elli's headstone put in the other day. It is beautiful, but pretty annoying. I mean it seem so dumb for the lack of a better word to be visiting our precious Elli at a grave instead of cuddling up with her on a cold winter morning. The headstone turned out beautifully. Since the cemetery does not allow any headstones to stick above ground (I guess for mowing issues) we had to get a flat one. It is a custom size, bigger than the normal "grasser" as the monument company calls it. We didn't know if they were going to be able to get it in before the ground froze or not, but I guess they did. Brian went last night and cleaned the snow off it, he said that it looked really nice in the moonlight, the black granite against the fresh snow. I didn't stop since i was on my way to work, but I am sure it was a tear jerker. Well I see it is getting to be that time...work time. I worked last night and work tonite and tomorrow.
Brian and I hope that everyone has a safe and happy holiday season, give all your children an extra hug on Christmas morning, take too many pictures, buy too many presents, and take time to really enjoy this time of year spending it with friends and family.
I just remember this: When someone you love is in heaven, a little piece of heaven is with you every day. I miss Elli so much, and never imagined my life without her. These times faced can only make Brian and I stronger. I think I finally have a comeback for the old saying "God does not give you more than you can handle"nope he doesn't "give"you anything. Stuff happens and he helps you handle what you are given.
Thank you to everyone who continues to think of us and posts even though we don't. It is so awesome to think there are that many people who still care so much. We are so grateful to have this amazing support system. We would no doubt crumble to pieces without each other and all of you, Thank You again and have a blessed holiday season.
Love Brian, Cassi and Angel Elli


Nancy said...

Cassie and Brian,

It was so good to read your entry today and know that you are doing as well as you can. I have been a follower of your blog since reading about Elli in the St. Joe newspaper.

I admire your strength, courage and willingness to share your story and the continuing journey. Many care about how you are doing and it is so good to know that you know that God has put you on the hearts of many, many people to lift you up in prayer.

I now have a question in the "it's a small world after all category." My family once lived in the Sioux City area and while there we knew a Dan Vorthman. I was a girl scout leader for his daughter, Vanessa. Early in your blog, you commented on a sonogram of Elli, that she had the Vorthman nose. Do you know or are you related to Dan? I also testified at his custody hearing and was so glad that he got the girls. Let me know if you could.

I will continue to keep you in my prayers and sure hope you do get a camera for Christmas because I'd love to see your house! And pics of that big buck if Brian gets him- ha.

God's comfort, peace and blessings-
Nancy Wright

Kaden and Angel Ava's mommy said...

I am so glad to read a post. I have been thinking about you guys and what you may be feeling especially around Christmas. I completely understand what you are going through. It breaks my heart knowing that we will not experience everything this Christmas with Ava.

I am so happy that you like your job. It sounds very rewarding to be able to help others who need it so badly. I hope that the nights start getting easier for you.

I love the last part of your entry about God not "giving" you anything but helping you through what you get...how true. I never thought about it that way when I have heard that phrase over and over again.

Well, I hope that you all have a very Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Rachel said...

I am so glad to see a post from you today. I check on you every day and pray to hear some words of healing. I admire you and Brian and I pray for you everyday...for your strength, peace and healing.

I'm glad to hear that work is going so well for the both of you. Keeping busy is a good thing.

I can't wait to see pictures of your house. It sounds amazing.

Happy Holidays....I'm sure it will be hard, but remember Elli is always with you in heart!


proudmom said...

Cassie, Brian, and Angel Elli;
It is so good to get an update from you. Your both seem to really love your jobs and your new home. Can't wait to see pictures, maybe it will give me some home interior ideas.
I think of each of you everyday and say a special prayer for you at night. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Elli. She has made such an impact on my life, and I am thankful that I am able to follow your journey with her.

God bless you all. Happy Holidays. Elli, I have a special ornament on my tree just for you.

Kyler's Mom said...

Hi Cassie,

I know you don't know me from Adam but I had to say this.

One... I am glad to hear that you and Brian are doing good.

Second... I also have a cricut machine. Mine is the smaller one but I LOVE it. I can't wait to see pictures of what all you have done with the vinyl. I have also played with the vinyl and have made a sign. That is why I had to write. The one and only sign I have made was for my babysitter. It says ..."God does not give us what we can handle, he helps us handle what we are given." I found it kind of ironic, if that is the right word.

Hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas.

Stay strong,

creagray said...

I have been thinking of you a lot lately. I am glad to hear that you are enjoying working at Jenni. Good luck with the continued house decorating, however after painting the red wall in my house, I would never recommend it to anyone! I hope you have a wonderful christmas with your family.


mel said...

Dear Cassie and Brian,

I have been following your blog just recently,you must be very proud of your Elli, she is beautiful, she is watching over all of you.
The three of you are continually in my prayers, especially at Christmas. I am a 30 year old nurse from Australia and just wanted to let you know that you are always in my family's prayers from the other side of the world.
With blessings at Christmas.

Fer said...

Dear Cassi...
Thanks for updating, Ikept checking your blog to see if you wrote and I'm glad you did, I've been wondering how you were doing.
Your job sounds amazing. I don't know if I already told you this, but my husband happens to be a doctor and he has had so many patients in the ICU, I've heard stories and sometimes I even got in, so I kind of know and get the picture when you describe what you do at your job.
About your camera... HURRY! BUY ONE! lol... I so want to see pictures of your home.
I keep thinking and praying for you guys. I hope yo have a safe and warm Christmas.

Liz and Shane Nelson said...

I am so glad you posted. We think about you guys and have you in our prayers. we care about you and want to know how you are doing. we cant wait to see pictures of your new home.

Liz and Shane

My Three Sons said...

Well I'm a few days behind trying to play catch up but was tickled when I saw a post from you. I'm glad to see that the job is keeping you busy and you are enjoying it.

I have checked on your blog as often as I can and it is really great to see that your still updatig us. It is far from a boring Reed life.

I hope that even though this year will be difficult, you will be able to enjoy your holidays.

nicole said...

hey stranger..it's so good to read about your recent events. Sounds like ICU work keeps you on your toes. I have no doubt that you are the most amazing nurse there!!!

Can't wait to see pic's of your house projects and Elli's headstone.

Have a wonderful Christmas!


shay said...

Dear Cassie and Brian,
My heart and soul are with you on this holiday season I do not no how you do this Have a merry christmass and a happy new year by the way thank you for posting lol and i hope you all have a fun festive and happy joyfull season talk to you next year in 2009 lol
to everyone who is reading this
merry christmass happy new year


FaithCDH said...

Brian and Cassi

Though you don't know me. I followed sweet Elli's journey. I think of you all often and your beautiful little girl. Know that she is always watching over you. You carry her in your hearts. She will never be forgotten and always cherished.

The world is so blessed to have people like you. Elli is so blessed to have wonderful parents like you. As she was hand picked by God for you...you were hand picked by God to be her parents.

May God comfort you during these times and hold you close.

Prayers for a blessed New Year.

Amy, Steve, ^^Faith^^, and baby Miles EDD 7-4-09


shay said...

Dear cassie and brian,
merry christmass i can not amagine what you guys r going throw expessaily on xmas i never thought this would have happend i wish there was something i could do
but there are no words that can take your pain away and others pain away. my family gives a prayer to elli everynight
well at least the kids are spoused to but you know them kidos.
merry christmass.

i think of you every day and night i wish i could see you and be there with you on this holiday season i will never forget you baby girl i can not imagine the pain your mommy and daddy are going throw hunny. every time i drive by the cemetary my family says we love you baby elli
at night i lay there thinking do u here us . i sure hope so
well its getting late love you kido
love the smaus family

Lana, Michaela,Bailley,Shana,chad


shay said...
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My Three Sons said...

Just wanted to stop in and let you know that I have really been thinking about you guys. I hope you were able to have a nice Christmas and I'm wishing Brian and You a happy new year.

Take care and God bless.

becky phelps said...

hey brian and cassie,

good to hear out of you again, i've checking on this everyday. Ran in to little reed the other day and asked about you! glad to hear that you are doing good! hope that you guys had a great christmas and i hope that this new year brings you wonderful things!! miss ya down here in the ville!

becky phelps

Kaden and Angel Ava's mommy said...

Just thinking about you guys and hoping that your holidays went well.

shay said...
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melissa said...

me and Andrea just wanted to say hello and that we have been thinking about you guys. I was reading your blog and how you kind of feel strange writing on elli's blog and if you do you could add another blog to this link about just your selves if you wanted. We enjoy hearing how the reed life is we read this awhile ago but wanted to wish you a late happy new year!!

shay said...
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shay said...


casau said...

hey guys! just checking in on you guys! hope all is going well for you! prayers for you!

My Three Sons said...

Just stopping in to tell you that there are a lot of us that still think of you often. I'm sure you have been very busy but I just wanted to let you know that I still pray for your healing and I hope your doing alright. I know the farming should be slowing down some because of the weather??? I hope you and Brian are able to spend some good quality time together. Let us know how you are and how the job is going.

Take care,


proudmom said...

Cassi and Brian
You still continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I check your blog daily to see if there are any new updates or sweet letters to your "Angel Elli".
I hope that all is going well with your ICU job and that Brian is doing well as a farmer, and maybe got to do some hunting. Best wishes to you both.
Elli, your fight was so hard, and I'm sad that your journey ended so soon.

I'm hoping that someday there will be a cure for CDH. Until then God Bless all the CDH families.

casau said...

hey there. just wanted to check in on you guys, see if there was an update. hope all is well! lots of people thinking about you guys! hope to hear from you soon!

proudmom said...

Reed Family,
I've been thinking of you. I hope that your new jobs are going well. I hope you are enjoying your new home.
Angel Elli you are still in my thoughts.

God Bless the CDH babies and families.

casau said...

hey there! just wanted to check in on you, see if there was an update. lots of people wondering whats going on in the life of,,, LOL. hope all is well!